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2003-07-03 @ 1:17 a.m. The stars of the ground flicker As the sun begins to set in the east Sewing the sky in luck's brilliant sparkles And yet... I still don't know how to acknowledge this feeling Despite being in the most beautiful place Surrounded by the most beautiful people Enjoying the most beautiful laughter Because for me, Happiness has always been a passing acquaintence Contentment, a mere colleague How do i cope with them wanting to stay a while? So i frantically check my books, read my notes And even consult my wrist's mending wounds In hopes for a hint Some kind of clue All they can tell me is that this is the new everything The past is whatever and should be forgotten So accept it, embrace it It's okay to feel okay But is it really okay? I recall my past love affairs with tragedy So familiar, so habitual Sadness played with my limbs like a puppet And i gratified every moment, every movement With as much pleasure as a pasted smile can allow But then angels came with scissors and cut me free I fell suddenly into the arms of everything i should be Wide eyed and confused i awoke half conscious In an amazing world of fantasy Where i could love and be loved And be content without guilt tugging at my heart Tell me, should i sit back and admire The bliss that has been handed to me Laced with ribbons of hope and glimmers of truth? Do i bask in the new summer's hot glow? (And do i deserve it?) Or shall i return to my winters filled with frozen tears And a frozen heart? That's where my home is anyway Well i'd be lying if i said there were never days i wish hadn't come But as ones arrive that i wish that would I get the feeling i should hold on to them Cherish each as a precious star that has been given to me For they may burn out someday Become a distant memory So i've decided, i'll give happiness a shot Sadness may be what i know And there are times i doubt this world is real But if every day could be, feel and look like this... That may be something worth getting used to. .Past. Entries.
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