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2003-06-24 @ 11:53 p.m. I remember crawling into your shadows to keep warm and safe You always knew how to orchestrate your movements just right But one day your shadows began to fade As the dawn of veracity painted our bodies in gold Illustrating what was really there in front of me- A beautiful world made of glass hopes and plastic promises Somehow everything becoming fabricated before my eyes And time slid through my hands like grains of sand Until i was enveloped knee deep in my own defiance Days and nights spent in refusal collected like a springtime puddle And i was unwilling to admit there was something wrong between you and i So if denial is a river in Egypt, i deserve to drown And to be swallowed whole by the angry rapids of my mistakes and my dishonesty with you Yet your silence is just as distressing and devastating I guess you knew that when you sewed your lips shut with tears And stuffed your memories in a shoebox under your bed Our laughter, our smiles, our plans, my failure Now have 12 by 6 inches to live, and to be looked at during a weak moment You know i've done the same So i suppose this is how things will remain While you drown your feelings in cheap whiskey and her sympathetic arms I sleep fitfully with a ghost The muted air heavy with emptiness and lonliness My covers stained with the sapphire blood pouring from my wrists Breathing has never been such a cruel task (for i need lessons) But i guess this is what i deserve And while there is nothing i can say to heal the wounds left by my mistakes Know that i struggle in our seperation too, scared and alone As we face our own paths not drawn out in advance I pray the stars light up the way for you Because i'll always love you. .Past. Entries.
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